This film is a computer animated version of the story in the point of view of talking food and nuts...how does that make any sense, it's actually stupid than something clever. Anyway, just like my previous review, I'm going to review the film in segments to the story. As I always say, ON WITH THE REVIEW...
MARIE'S GIFT/THE NUTCRACKER'S BACK STORY
(Yes, her name is not Clara in this one!)
First off, the computer animation! While, not being not the
worst I've seen since the characters sort of look alive and the atmosphere is
colorful, it still looks like animation that belongs in a computer game than in
a film. "Toy Story" looks more alive and is in better detail than
this cheap cartoon is, but then again this film is on a different budget. The
computer animation isn't good, but it's not awful either, it's just passable.
Getting to this part of the story, Phyllis Diller plays the voice of the Sugar
Plumb fairy who I'm not sure if she's supposed to be the narrator as well. She
opens up the film with a little narration; then a bunch of nuts tell the back
story to the Nutcracker; the Sugar Plumb Fairy gives the back story to the
Mouse King; and then she just appears making jokes on the King to appearing at
the end waiting for Marie the whole time. Really she couldn't have helped our
main character, while she has time to make jokes on the Mouse King in his own castle?
In fact, I feel mostly embarrassed for Phyllis Diller for her to be in another
Nutcracker movie. Ok, she felt out of place in “The Nutcracker Prince" as
the Mouse Queen, but at least she was fun and villainous for her part, but now
seeing her in a low budget straight to video film with a weak parody of the
story where she can just be herself, but gets no funny lines except for one
line where she goes out of character, it clearly shows where her career was
going at the time.
Anyway, getting to the plot; Marie receives a Nutcracker
from her uncle Drosselmeyer and in a back story narrated by talking nuts
(Shouldn't Drosselmeyer be the one to tell the back story?), we find out that
the Nutcracker once was a Prince who has been turned to wood by the wicked
Mouse Queen and that the key to bringing him back to human is love. By the way,
if you're interested in seeing the back story, we see very, very little of it
and it's all mostly told in dialogue. With a plot point so important in a kid’s
film, it's necessary to show it then talk about it because kids are more
interested in seeing the story than hearing it. I guess, I might as well
talk about the characters throughout the film. Our main character Marie (Debi
Derryberry), all she does is just whine, complain, moan and cry! She serves no
purpose to the story; she does nothing in the story; all she does is get in
trouble and cause more problems, that's it. Her brother Fritz is not only
annoying as the character should be, but he's bland and all he does to the
Nutcracker is just let it fall to the ground, while it looks completely
unharmed from the fall! As for Uncle Drosselmeyer (Jim Cummings) he doesn't
look anything like the character in the very least and every time you see him,
he acts all corny and gay (As in happy) then somebody friendly, but yet
mysterious. As for the talking Nuts, which I still don't get how that was a
good idea, I kind of liked them as a kid, but now they're so annoying, so over
the top and so unfunny that even Cheech Marin can't make this concept funny. In
fact, why make the Cheech Marin nut look Jamaican when he has no Jamaican
accent what so ever?! Yeah, about the designs to these nuts, they're kind of
creative, but they're mostly stupid and pointless. One's a Colonel, one's a
little kid, one's an old man, one's a fainting beautiful woman, and one wears a
fortune cookie on his head that says press; I mean what were the writers on
when creating this film and WHY PUT TALKING NUTS IN A NUTCRACKER STORY?! Why
couldn't it be toys or fantasy characters from where the Nutcracker Prince came
from?
THE BATTLE BETWEEN THE NUTCRACKER AND THE MOUSE KING
Our main villain the Mouse King is voiced by Jim Belushi and
as you may have guessed, just like Diller and Marin, he too is wasting his
talent. He's not funny, he's not villainous, he's not even scary (Nor does the
film intend him to be scary) he's just loud and obnoxious. As a matter of fact,
he has a thing for Marie, which is not only weird, but it's also very annoying
on how much he falls for her. I just keep waiting that something bad would
happen to this character. He even gets his own song which was cool at first,
but now when I hear it again; it's just as lame and annoying as this film. As
for the Mouse Queen, she only shows up in the back story for a cameo with no
dialogue and is not seen again. As for the fight, it's lame and very anti climatic.
The soldiers do nothing except run away and get hit; the food fighting isn't as
funny as I remember it; and the duel between the Prince and the Mouse King is
not really what I call a duel, it's more of a who can make the most bad jokes,
while swinging a sword. As for the Prince, he's all charm but no personality
and he becomes human the minute when he's alive.
CHRISTMAS KINGDOM
Just when you think the film is done and over, those first two segments were just the first 20 minutes. The whole film takes place in the Christmas Kingdom. So you're probably wondering or guessing, if the rest is going to be one big celebration, well no. Marie removed the star from her tree and the star happens to be the Christmas star for the Christmas Kingdom. So instead of Drosselmeyer making her big (Yeah he appears for a what the hell few seconds when he makes Marie small) or trying to put the star back up the tree, they go to the Christmas Kingdom to bring it to the Sugar Plumb Fairy. However, the Mouse King survived the fall (No shock there) and now wants the star as well as having Marie to help him rule the Kingdom. DON'T LOOK AT ME, I DIDN'T WRITE THIS FILM! Sometimes I wonder how I sat through this movie as a kid or how it made any sense!?
The Christmas Kingdom is not creative in the least and more of a bland Candy-land knock-off, and if you expect to see fantasy characters living there, you don't! The climax with the Prince and the Mouse King was so unexciting that I always keep forgetting the entire sequence, even as a kid. By the way, I assume all the cute rats or mice died in the end in of the collapsing castle since we never see them again and the one who gets to live is the Mouse King himself since they make him good at the ending which is done in a very, very corny way. Oh and if you want to hear a What The Hell moment, there's a random scene where the Mouse King and his assistant are dancing together to the Chinese Dance...what the hell was that about? Speaking of music, the songs by Peabo Bryson are the only good thing that this film has to offer, but than again, I rather hear it on the radio then see it in this movie. As for the ending, they take "The Wizard Of Oz" route and when we finally see Marie's parents, all we see is her Mother and hear her Father's voice saying only one sentence. Were the animators too lazy to draw the father?
THIS FILM IS GARBAGE! It has no atmosphere, annoying characters, bad animation, a bad retelling of the classic story and it makes zero percent sense!
RATING 0/5
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