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Sunday, March 31, 2013

South Park: Fantastic Easter Special

 

Easter, the day when Jesus was resurrected after being crucified on the cross. So what does this have to do with a Bunny that gives out eggs and candy?



What's the point of having an Easter bunny, where's the connection to Jesus? There's simply no connection what so ever. Ok, so Santa Claus doesn't connect to Jesus either, but he gives gifts and is generous like the people and Kings who gave to Jesus on his birthday, so there's a somewhat connection to Jesus being born. The Easter Bunny is just another excuse for a second gift-getting holiday. I never believed in one as a kid; in fact, I was a bit scared. When I saw the bunny in Malls, it didn't convince me either; it's just some person in a costume who looks like the mascots you'd find in Time Square. Even the Easter specials didn't help either; they were pretty much just as stupid and pointless as throwing in an Easter Bunny on a sacred Holiday. However, there is one Easter special that is not only fun but actually gives sense and at least a purpose for an Easter Bunny, and that's South Park's...

             Fantastic Easter Special



Stan asks a legit question, how does the Easter Bunny connect with Jesus being resurrected? To find out the truth, Stan sets out on an adventure to learn the true meaning of Easter. South Park's outlook on the true meaning of Easter is not only hilarious but makes more sense than having an Easter Bunny hide the eggs that you colored, in your own house, while leaving you treats on a day when Jesus was resurrected. Yeah, you can find it offensive or even call it blasphemy, but come on, so is that freaking bunny. If I were told about the Easter Bunny the way South Park put it, I'd actually buy it. Thank you Trey Parker and Matt Stone, for creating such comedic and Easter gold. The episode itself, while mocking the typical Easter tradition, has a lot of other funny things going on. It has tons of action (I never thought I'd see the candy "Peeps" be so deadly), as well as an intriguing mystery that parodies the "Da Vinci Code". Of course, the appearances of Eric Cartman, Kyle, and Jesus (Who we haven't seen since "Red Sleigh Down" believing he died permanently) are just funny as the premise.

It has to be thee best Easter Special I've ever seen. If you don't buy the whole Easter Bunny thing as I do, try watching this episode before you think about not taking part in this Easter tradition. It's a great Easter special, and I watch it every Easter. That's right; I choose this over Rankin/Bass' Easter Special, which I MIGHT review next Easter.

RATING 5/5

HAPPY EASTER!!

Saturday, March 30, 2013

THE ROCK-AFIRE EXPLOSION MOVIE


"Showbiz Pizza Place" was the Chuck E Cheese of the 80's filled with games, rides,pizza,beer for the parents and an animatronic shows. The shows whether you loved them or hated them,were the reason why you went and the people were either a...

ROCK-AFIRE EXPLOSION PERSON


OR A

 CHUCK E CHEESE PERSON




As much as I like them both as a child and I still do, it has to be "The Rock-afire Explosion". The characters are more memorable, their songs rock, the stages are great and they were famous before Chuck E Cheese became famous and actually had the band replace. Since it's my Birthday I'm going to review a Documentary film called...



The film is a documentary on the history of the "Rock-afire Explosion". The film goes from the history of "Showbiz Pizza Place" to the fan base that make these characters live on. You'll see interviews of fans of the show such as Chris Thrash and the shows creator the great Aaron Fechter.



For those who don't know the band,don't worry I'll tell you about them. The show was divided into three stages. On the right stage you got a Bear named Billy Bob who's the shows host and he's just a real sweetheart. His friend is a drunken tech nerd Bird named Looney Bird who'd pop his head in and out of the gas can. On the left side you had Rolfe the wolf who thinks he's all that and has a puppet named Earl who'd insult him and probably has a mind of his own. On the center stage, you'd have the band. The one in the middle (Who's my favorite character) is Fatz the ape who'd play the piano,co hosts the show and is a parody of Fats Domino. Then you have Beach Bear who'd play his guitar while swinging back and fourth on his Surf Board and sing rock tunes. Then there's Mitzi the Mouse who's a teenage girl cheerleader and would sing all the girl songs. Finally you have Dook the Dog on drum who has a great voice but is very dumb and wears a Spacesuit so he can some day go to outter space. You'd also have props that move such as a singing Moon and Sun,a Spider jumping up and down and more. Now that you know about them, here's my review on the film.



The documentary gives a very nostalgic feel for the people who grew up and went to "Showbiz Pizza Place" to see the band. We see showbiz through old Commercials and just by watching them (To the people who've been there) you get that Nostalgia feel and for those who didn't grow up when Showbiz Pizza Place wasn't around you still feel like a kid watching it and makes you wish that you were there. I also love the clips and show tapes of the band because the film really makes them look like great characters and you know what they are great characters.





The interviews are what make this film very good. Hearing and watching the interviews of Aaron  Fechter and Chris Thrash are very interesting and enjoyable. With Aaron we hear about his history of how he developed the band,talks about the rise and fall of the band,his life on creating them and we even get a tour of a warehouse full some old and rare items from the years he's created the band. I also love his story about when Michael Jackson came to look at them. Interviews of Chris Thrash and the other fans of the show bring a very nostalgic feel to when you saw them as a kid,how much the fan base has grown,talking about collecting and their love for the band,telling they're stories as kids and all of these interviews make feel proud to be a fan of the band.



The part that makes me cry in the film is when the band was being replaced by the Chuck E Cheese band. The interviews from Aaron and the fans sound very heartbreaking, the story of their loss for the band is sad and as we watch all this we see an old video of people removing the characters and replacing them with the Chuck E Cheese characters. I will admit I do like Chuck E Cheese but The Rock-afire Explosion is way better then them and seeing the best animatronic band being replaced by a cheap copy,it's really sad to watch and hear.



Finally there's the current fan base of the show. The Documentary talks about how "YouTube" is introducing people to the band and shows what fans that have the show are doing with them.I just enjoy watching the "YouTube" footage of the band being over dubbed by modern music because it shows how pulled in the new fans are. I even love the ending when we see the band performing "Hello Sunshine" by the Super Furry Animals.

The documentary is really outstanding. It brings a lot of nostalgia, it gives new comers a fresh new look at these characters and it really shows the amount of work, effort and history behind the characters. One of the best documentaries I've ever seen.

RATING 5/5

THIS REVIEW AND FUTURE REVIEWS ON THE SHOWS OF "THE ROCK-AFIRE EXPLOSION" IS DEDICATED TO...

AARON FECHTER

CHRIS THRASH

THE PEOPLE WHO WORKED, BUILT AND VOICED THE CHARACTERS

AND ALL THE FANS OF THE SHOW

Friday, March 29, 2013

ROBIN HOOD MEN IN TIGHTS

Well, we're near the end of Mel Brooks Month and since tomorrows a special day and Easter follows the day after I'm going to end it here. Now I usually end the directors month with one of his most recent films, however, his most recent (which he didn't direct) was the remake of "The Producers" and the last film he directed was a horror comedy called "Dracula: Dead And Loving It", but that falls into horror month. So here's his second or third to last if you count the remake of "The Producers",



The film is a parody and Mel Brooks twist on the famous Robin Hood story. Robin Hood and his Men In Tights are outlaws who fights for the poor to save a town from the nasty Prince John who's in control while his brother is out fighting in the Crusades. Robin also has a love interest named Maid Marian who he hopes to win her love and take her virginity.

 

The characters and actors are well casted, however, most them (compared to previous Mel Brooks characters) are not really that memorable or well performed. I was happy that they got Cary Elwes to play our title character, but to be honest I feel like I'm watching the Farm Boy from "The Princess Bride" doing a somewhat sequel or prequel to the film, under a different name and different land. The love interest played by Amy Yasbeck is sadly a forgettable Mel Brooks female character and the only thing that I can remember from her is her chastity belt jokes. The villains played by Roger Rees as the Sheriff and Richard Lewis as Prince John, um Dark Helmet is better and more threatening than these wimps. The Men In Tights such as Eric Allan Kramer, Matthew Porretta, Mark Blankfield and Dave Chappelle, forgettable, not funny and as gay as The Spartans in "Meet The Spartans". I'm really disappointed with Chappelle in this film and yes I love his show! There were some characters I liked such as Dom DeLuise as Don Giovanni doing a sick  Marlon Brando impression that beats all the great ones (including John Belushi), and I did enjoy Mel Brooks as Rabbi Tuckman. Others like Tracy Ullmen, Issac Hayes, Dick Van Patten, Megan Cavanagh and Patrick Stewart are I guess ok, but still feel like they give a dull performance. Oh and Robert Ridgely returning as The Hangman Boris from "Blazing Saddles", I never thought Mel Brooks would ever bring back a previous character from one of his movies and this appearance feels well a bit lazy and desperate for a laugh then a clever cameo or hidden Easter Egg.

 

The film while being an entertaining comedy is not one of Mel Brook's best. The film feels like I'm watching a cheap copy of "The Princess Bride" with a little bit of unfunny "Monty Python" skits, and most of Mel Brooks's rehashed and rejected jokes and it all comes out as one of the many unsuccessful spinoffs to the "Scary Movies". Sure I laughed here and there because let's be honest Mel Brooks does know how to be entertaining, but for the majority of it I feel like I'm watching the same jokes being rehashed, done differently in a unfunny way and the jokes we all know and love from Mel Brooks aren't naturally funny, they feel forced. Even his Movie reference to his previous films are forced. The Music numbers are alright, but let's be honest they're not that memorable. Heck, most of it is pointless and done as filler. The rapping numbers suck and feel very out of place and most of the singing is obviously lip synched which I didn't think was that funny.

While being one of Mel Brooks weakest films, it's still entertaining and is what many consider a love or hate film.

RATING 3/5

Monday, March 25, 2013

THE TWELVE CHAIRS



This is the second film Mel Brooks directed. The film takes place in Soviet Union Russia in 1927, years after the Russian Revolution. An Ex Aristocrat (Ron Moody) and a Con Artist (Frank Langella) are on a treasure hunt to find hidden jewels in one of the 12 chairs that were taken away from the ex Aristocrat during the Revolution. Not only do the duo have to look for the chairs in different parts of Russia but a selfish and greedy priest (Dom DeLuise) is after the jewels too.



Our main characters are very funny, enjoyable and are likable, not to mention that they are well casted. We first have Ron Moody (Who you might remember him as Fagin in the movie "Oliver!") is brilliantly funny in this movie. This is really one sad and desperate man who will do almost anything to get the Jewels. Almost every scene he's in he's always snapping and cracking up and not only are his energy and facial expressions funny but sometimes I can't believe that he was Fagin. Frank Langella (Who you might remember his Oscar nominated and Tony winning performance as Richard Nixon in "Frost/Nixon") is always cool, calm and collected while always coming up with a plan and trying to find ways to get and locate the chairs. This guy has to be one of the best con artists since Tom Sawyer, only cooler, hell he's so cool that even his accent is cool. The partnership between Moody and Langella is a great chemistry and it works. As for Dom DeLuise, well he's just as desperate and funny as Moody is, he's truly an enjoyment to watch. Oh and this is his first Mel Brooks film and boy do we know how many more laughs he'll bring on the way. The supporting characters are not too memorable but however there are a few funny ones which the stars has also appeared in other Mel Brooks films such as Andreas Voutsinas(Who's appeared as Carmen Ghia in the original Producers) and Mel Brooks himself acting for the first time in a film he directed.



Now the film itself is not a well known Mel Brooks film, in fact Mel Brooks didn't even write the story, it's actually based on a novel that's been adapted in film many times. Is it funny, I think so. Sure it's different from the typical Mel Brooks films and even though most jokes and moments are not as memorable compared to Mel Brook's later work it's still a good comedy. It's a really fun buddy adventure comedy and it does carry the same energy, atmosphere and fun of a Mel Brooks movie. Some of the best moments are the chase scenes which are in the style of a silent film, and the many attempts they make to get those chairs. Mel Brooks even writes a song for this movie called "Hope For The Best, Expect The Worst", not as memorable as his other songs but it fits the films time and atmosphere as well as the cinematography and score.

Maybe it's not a well known Mel Brooks movie but it's indeed funny and watchable.

RATING 4/5

Monday, March 18, 2013

SILENT MOVIE




 This film is well a silent film made by Mel Brooks. Mel Brooks, Marty Feldman and Dom DeLuise are trying to save a failing studio owned by Sid Caesar by making a silent film which no one has seen in 40 years. They go on a road trip to get big stars to be in it. However, two greedy New York conglomerates Engulf & Devour (Harold Gould and Ron Carey) want the studio and will stop at nothing to get it. As much as I enjoy the plot I do find it predictable and kind of weird, but funny that they're making silent film within a silent film which will not be done again until "The Artist". I am a bit disappointed that we don't see them make the film, it's just a buddy comedy road trip movie as we meet many people along the way. Oh, and this film is "Based On A True Story".



Mel Brooks, Marty Feldman and Dom DeLuise are basically playing their selves in this film, but these three are so funny, so over the top and have so much great chemistry together that I swear that I would love to see them do more films together. Mel Brooks is in his first film where he stars as the leading character in a film he directed and he's funny as you see him in his other films. Marty Feldman brings in the perverted humor and over the top facial expressions, while Dom DeLuise provides the fat and obese jokes. The supporting characters are enjoyable as well. Sid Caesar is funny as the head of the broken down studio, Bernadette Peters as the love interest is kind of bland and treated like an extra set of wheels for the plot, but she's still fun and gorgeous. As for the villains, they're not memorable, but they do share some moments that are priceless.

Image result for Silent Movie 1976"

Mel Brook's pretty much made a risky film in a time (and still is) where silent films are considered dated in modern day film making, and to be perfectly honest I think it works very well in this film. Of course I go for all genres and style of film (with the exception of the X rated stuff) but will an audience enjoy it. Most certainly. First off, its Mel Brooks and lets be honest, he knows how to entertain an audience, whether his films are good or not (for the most part). I found plenty of laugh out loud moments in this film that made me flip over my chair. The celebrities he got to appear in this movie are not only well casted, but have perfect expressions when interacting with our trio. The slapstick is enjoyably cartoony, the visuals gags provide a chucle, the cliche silent film jokes are subtle, and the use of sound effects and title cards are play a big role in the film's comedy.  Even the pointless moments that drag or go nowhere like a dream sequence with Brooks and Peters on a cake or the Paul Newman chase still come across as highly entertaining scenes. By the way, be sure to listen for at least one word that's spoken in the film.

Mel Brooks brings a great tribute to the silent films and it's indeed one of his funniest.

RATING 4/5

Sunday, March 17, 2013

DISNEY'S DARBY O' GILL AND THE LITTLE PEOPLE

It's St. Paddy's Day and I'm going to review my favorite Irish film with Leprechauns by Disney called...

Image result for darby o'gill and the little people poster

Darby O' Gill (Albert Sharpe) is an old codger who's good friends with King Brien the King of the Leprechauns (Jimmy O' Dea) who both like to outwit each other. After Darby catches him to grant him 3 wishes, the two of them try to match up Darby's daughter Katie (Janet Munro) and a worker taking Darby's place as caretaker named Michael (Sean Connery). However, the nasty town bully Pony (Kieron Moore) wants to marry Katie.

Image result for Darby O'Gill Sean Connery

The acting and characters is really great. Our main character Darby is tons of fun to watch who's also really lovable character. King Brien is also a really a fun character too. However, when you put these to fun characters together that's where they are at their best. They're good friends but they like to fight, argue and try to out smart each other since they're both smart and clever, which makes the relationship between them both fun and interesting. My favorite scene is when Darby gets the King drunk while singing "The Wishing Song" which is a song they make up as they go along as distraction to keep him on his farm until morning, where the Leprechaun becomes powerless. I do however wonder how the King was able to use his magic during the day time in one scene, however I'm giving that scene a free pass which is very rare of me to do because the rest of the things surrounding the film is so good.

Image result for Darby O'Gill Sean Connery

The daughter Katie is a loving character and Pony the town bully is a fun villain. Speaking of the two I feel like they some what inspired the development of the characters in Disney's "Beauty And The Beast". Belle is as strong and loving as Katie; Gaston is the hunky bully like Pony; and even Maurice is not only a kind loving father like Darby, but raves about what he saw which people find him to be crazy. As for Sean Connery this was before he was James Bond which as a matter of fact they actually chose him to play Bond after seeing him in this film. Sean Connery is great in this film and yes something’s do ironically foreshadow him being Bond such as getting the girl (By the way there's great chemistry between him and Katie) and the Irish brawl at the end. He also sings in this film, some people find it a shocker but did anyone see "Dr.No", he sung a little bit in that film when he first met Honey Ryder (I wonder if that was an homage to this film).

Image result for Darby O'Gill

The atmosphere and music is really great and really pulls you into this film's world. The special effects are really creativity, outstanding, and even the cheap ones manage to look cool. Best scene is when Darby is at the Mystical land of the Leprechauns (Some complain where the woman are, but I think that has to do with the fact that most of us see Leprechauns as males, however, I'm not saying their aren't any stories with girl Leprechauns) full of treasure and fun as he plays an old Fiddle where they start dancing, drinking, and riding horses. The effects for the Leprechauns are so great that Walt made the audience believe they were actually Leprechauns and did an episode promoting the film of him meeting them to help him make the film (However, I strongly recommend you see the film first). Speaking of the Leprechaun world, I wonder if the scene when Darby enters the land of the Leprechaun was homage in "Nightmare Before Christmas" for when Jack goes to Christmas Town? The two do look similar. Finally, who can also forget the Banshee and the Death Coach Driver? The effect maybe a little cheap but the build up; the dark atmosphere; idea; and design are what make them so terrifying.

Overall I think it's one of the best live action Disney films of all time and in my opinion I think it deserves to be shown and recognized more. At least Doug Walker promoted this film, but I'd love to see more people recommend it.

RATING 5/5

Saturday, March 16, 2013

THE PRODUCERS (1967)

Here's Mel Brooks first and award winning film that is considered to be one of the best comedies of all time...


A failing great and washed up Producer Max Bialystock (Zero Mostel) and an accountant named Leo Bloom (Gene Wilder) plan to make more money with a flop then with a hit. They receive a Nazi glorifying play called "Spring Time For Hitler" which is written by a former Nazi.They must now get an awful director, raise the money, find an actor to play Hitler and when the play closes on the day it opens, he and Leo head off to Rio. Will it work?

 

Our two main characters are both well casted and are completely funny, no ifs or butts. Zero Mostel as this money hungry and dishonest man who was once the king of Broadway plays his role as if it were written for him. His facial expressions are funny, his energy is great and his character is wonderful. I love the scenes when he tries to con money from little old ladies after playing naughty sex games with them. I just love how greedy, dishonest and washed up he is and yet can still be likable. Only Zero can A+ this role. Gene Wilder, same feeling, tons of energy, has over the top facial expressions and is another great character. I love how smart and yet childish he is but what I really love are his hysterical moments. He puts so much energy into it that he can turn his face completely red. The chemistry between the two characters is so wonderful and funny that it's an epic comedy win.



The supporting characters are just as well casted and well written as our main stars and characters. Kenneth Mars (Who you know him in "Young Frankenstein" as Inspector Kemp, Little Foot's Grandpa in "The Land Before Time" and King Triton in Disney's "The Little Mermaid") as the neon Nazi Franz Liebkind is completely crazy, nuts, loves Hitler like a Father but is most of all out of his mind. Only Kenneth can make this over the top Neon Nazi have this much energy. Christopher Hewett as the gay cross dressing Director Roger (Parody of Edward D. Wood Jr.) and his assistant and lover Carmen Giya (Andreas Voutsinas) are both really funny, very gay, classy and feminine characters. Then we have Lee Meredith as Ulla the Swedish speaking receptionist, who's not only hot and funny but she loves to tease, dance, serve and is considered as a "Toy". Finally we have Dick Shawn as the flower loving hippie Lorenzo St. Du Bois aka "L.S.D." and he's so so funny that I can hardly breath while laughing. I don't care if the character's a bit dated, he's still funny and boy does he know how to make a Hippie out of Hitler. All these characters are so good, so well casted that no one can bring the same feel and energy as them.



Now the directing, cinematography and score give this film a great comedic atmosphere and I love the shots of New York in the 60's. The dialogue is so funny and quotable that it's probably one of the most quotable films I ever saw. The songs are funny and memorable.We get a song called "Love Power" sung by Dick Shawn and a prison song called "Prisoners Of Love" which are really good tunes. The best song of course is "The Spring Time For Hitler" number which is so offensive, so vulgar, so Nazi glorifying that only Mel Brook's can achieve making such a risky musical number so funny and catchy with great choreography and set design. There's tons of other moments in the film but I won't give them away.

 The characters are memorable, the scenes are memorable, the dialogue is memorable and the story is memorable. While feeling a tad bit dated it still never gets old and doesn't fail to bring laughs. What a great way to start Mel Brook's career.

RATING 5/5

It's really a great film, impossible to be remade, who can fill the shoes of these characters?



YOU MUST BE JOKING?!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

UNFORGIVEN

 

Clint Eastwood is known as an iconic western hero since John Wayne. All of his Westerns are action packed and the character can only be pulled off by him. Well I'm going to review the last Western film he ever starred in and the film won Best Picture and is considered one of the greatest Westerns of all time. I give you...



Clint Eastwood plays an aging gun slinger named William Munny who's retired his life of crime. However, he decides to pull one last job for the money and that's to kill two men who cut up a whore. William gets his old partner Ned (Morgan Freeman) and accompanies a young man called The Schofield Kid(Jaimz Woolvett). However the nasty Sheriff Little Bill (Gene Hackman) is planing to stop the trio.



Most of us believe we're going to see Clint Eastwood all badass and ready to fight and kill. Forget it, he's not like the Man With No Name or Josey Wales, he's actually a weak old man with a history of killings. He can't shoot, he can't fight back, heck he has trouble taking care of the hogs in his farm. Actually, I love that we see Eastwood this way because it's not what we expect and instead of doing a film where he's old but acts young, they treat his old age and retirement really seriously. Will we see good old Eastwood as we remember him, just watch the film and you tell me.

 

The supporting cast are just as great as Eastwood. First we have Morgan Freeman as his partner and come on lets be honest that's already epic enough to talk about Freeman, two legends fighting together it can't lose. Jamiz Woolveltt is just as great as Freeman and Eastwood and his character has an interesting twist. Gene Hackmen as Little Bill has to be one of the toughest characters Eastwood's ever faced in a Western. Other characters like the whore Strawberry Alice (Frances Fisher), the victim whore girl Delilah(Anna Levine), the Saloon owner and Pimp Skinny Dubois (Anthony James), the two killers Quick Mike (David Mucci) and  Davey Bunting(Rob Campbell) and the writer W. W. Beauchamp(Saul Rubinek) are all great and memorable. My favorite in the supporting characters is English Bob (Richard Harris). Although he's a character you don't need and he practically gets his ass handed to him by Hackman, he's still a very fun character.



As for the film itself, it's a solid Western film. Ok don't expect to much shooting which is a tad bit of a downer, however "The Searches" one of the greatest Western films of all time didn't have to much shooting in it either. Trust me when I say you'll be satisfied towards the end. The film has a great Western atmosphere and the guitar score is really fitting for this Western environment. The cinematography and Art Direction also helps pull you into this Western film.

Overall this is a great cap to Eastwoods Western career and it is indeed a great Western film. Eastwood was also kind enough to dedicate this film Sergio Leone and Don Siegel. It's also the 3rd Western film to win Best Picture.

RATING 5/5

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

SPECIAL THANKS TO "ILOVEDINOMARTIN"

I wish to  give a special thanks to the "ilovedinomartin" blog for sharing my love for the show on his site. I am very honored and grateful to be recognized for my talent and love and yes, I'll prepare another list of Moments from the show and Roasts in the future. Thanks for your support and help because it's people like you who inspire me to go on.

Here's the link to their site

 http://ilovedinomartin.blogspot.com/ 

Tune in soon for another Top Favorite List!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

MY TOP 12 FAVORITE ROAST MOMENTS FROM THE DEAN MARTIN CELEBRITY ROAST: BOB HOPE



Celebrity Roasts an event where great comedians and stars come together and make jokes and insults of the celebrity that's being roasted. Unfortunately, Roasts now a days are not funny, very very mean spirited, we see comedians who have only been famous for at least a month that are not funny and even the good ones can't tell a good or insulting joke. However, back in the day there's a Roast special that was funny and insulting at the time and still is today,a bit dated but still funny, I give you...

 

This show had so many famous guests, so many good insults and jokes that you don't need curse words to be funny and insulting. Dean Martin is the host of the show and he too is funny. Every year(Well if I can) I'll not only pick my favorite moments from the variety show, I'll also pick my favorite insults from the Roasts. Well since Dean is the host, I'm not going to pick moments and insults by him, however I will talk about his introductions to a guest on the list and count it as part of the moment. So don't worry Dino fans he's on the list. Our "Man Of The Hour" in this Roast and countdown is...

BOB HOPE
For those who don't know him, I'll tell you a little about him.Bob Hope is a comedic actor, who went on to Vaudeville, had his own radio show and starred in movies, best ones are when he's with Bing Crosby in "The Road To..." series. He's best known for entertaining the soldiers at war by giving them shows with his jokes and girls. Dean gives him a great introduction and jokes about how similar his Birth Data is to his, his up and comin life as a performer and how he entertained the troops at war. Now that you know about Bob, here's my...

MY TOP 12 FAVORITE ROAST MOMENTS FROM THE DEAN MARTIN CELEBRITY ROAST: BOB HOPE

Lets start with number 12. Dean introduces our guest by saying all he carried when he rode into Hollywood is a gun and snake bite skit, incase if he was bitten by the master of insults Don Rickles. Number 12 is...

JOHN WAYNE
John Wayne couldn't make it to the Roast cause he's filming the sequel to "True Grit", so instead he films a video of himself on set and in costume talking to the camera. John apologies that he couldn't be there and is disappointed that he couldn't do a picture with Bob which was as disappointing as not doing one with Jane Fonda. John leaves to film his big scene but the Co-star Katharine Hepburn thinks it's her big scene which is a big problem. John bids Goodbye and tells Bob to have a great Roast. I put it low since John wasn't there but still he's funny and at least was nice enough to shoot a short video for Bob, so that's good enough to be one of my favorite moments. Oh and by the way, I love how Dean talks to the recording of "The Duke".

Dean introduces "Mr. Sunshine boy", one of the cheapest comedians and my 11th Favorite guest on the Roast...

JACK BENNY


Jack Benny is glad to be invited and hopes everyone will enjoy the wonderful things about Bob but we won't be hearing any from him. He talks about Bob entertaining the troops every Christmas. Where does his cheapskate joke come in. He talks about Bob making a great sacrifice on everyone of his trips he had to bring big named young hot actresses. Jack wouldn't go through that ordeal for a 100 dollars. That's Jack always being the cheap Mr.Krabs of the old days.

Dean introduces their "6 Million Dollar Man" and my 10th Favorite guest on the Roast...

PHYLLIS DILLER

Phyllis thanks Dean for the introduction but will attack him first if General Bradly(One of the guests) asks him...her to attack. She's happy to be on the roast cause it was Bob Hope who made it possible to get Phyllis a face lift and she owes it to him and sold Phyllis's old nose to Karl Malden. Here's his picture of him wearing Phyllis's old nose.


He...she, tells everyone it was Bob who made her big when she was testing flee collars. She talks about the film they were in together and he tells everyone what a great kisser Bob is. She hasn't seen movement with lips since she gave her dog "A sticky tootsie roll". She ends it by saying the film was good but the premier stunk and he made him...her what she was that day..."Depressed!". Phyllis Diller is always a hoot with her voice, laugh and humor and boy did she expose the kind of lover Bob Hope was.

 Dean introduces my 9th Favorite guest and this guy likes to move a lot. So Dean tells the audience that he might remain in his seat if we give him a nice round of applause. Already he's standing up to that remark. After mocking about the biography the guest wrote, he introduces my 10Th Favorite guest on this special who is...

MILTON BERLE

Milton is happy to be talking about his friend Bob Hope and tells the audience they go back "When pants was a condition". He also tells Bob Hope he made Paramount Studios what is "An empty lot next to a Cemetery".  He also makes fun when Bob Hope thinks he was a lover back in the day and now there's a sexual revolution when Hope "Ran out of ammunition".  He even reveals why Bob has so much energy, it's because "He keeps Busy, Loves to make people laugh and decides Delores (His Wife) wants him to get the hell out of the house". Milton Berle is standing still for his mock on Hope but just watch him throughout the show get off his chair and not sit still.





Here's my 8th Favorite guest on the Roast...

NIPSEY RUSSEL

Wrong image but I'm keeping it anyway

 

Nipsey talks about Bob Hopes benefit concert in Watts "opening with bye bye blackbird, followed by me and my shadow, followed by a mysterious fire in his house". Nipsey says Bob is the soul of propriety and tells the story of two hot woman in Bob's hotel room where Bob tells them he's a married man and that one of them will have to go. Nipsey talks about the time he rubbed elbows with the Governor of California who refused to shake his hand. He asks Bob to tell the Governor that it is time for Nipsey's people to be treated right in society, Bob's response was "Your rightful place is in the Riven section of the band". He finishes his insults by talking about Bob going on the wrong plane to his concert and the plane he was on is full of mental patients. Nipsey is really insulting Bob good and boy does he enjoy doing it.

Dean introduces My 7th favorite guest on the roast, who's the Governor of California at the time, an ex actor and future President...

RONALD REGAN


Ronald Regan is "surprised" to be honoring Bob Hope and by "surprised" he means "Annoyed". Already a good insulting start. Ronald Regan is not there for Hope, he just happen to be in town for a guest shot on "Hollywood Squares" which is more important then honoring Hope. On a nice note, he thinks Bob would be good in Politics due to him being so popular with being seen by millions of Troops and TV viewers but criticizes his movie career, which is coming out of the mouth of a man who probably did worse films then Bob did, which he's aware of. Again on another good note, he says Bob "is a man of remarkable accomplishments. He's been America's most favorite comedian at a time when America was in her most wildered state of mind".  Again, how nice of him to say that but "He's entertained for Six Presidents, He's performed for 12".  He ends it by saying "The state legislature has unanimously passed a bill naming you California far most citizen".  Again, what a generous thing to do and the look on Bob's face is priceless...until Ronald tells him that he "Vetoed it". Ronald goes from being nice to down right harsh. Like him as President, Actor or not, he still is a funny man.

Dean introduces my 6th Favorite guest on the Roast as the "Outspoken Master of the English Language" and has spoken so many big words that he has "stretch marks on his mouth". Dean slurs the name of my 6th Favorite guest...

HOWARD COSELL

Howard Cosell speaks his big words in a very insulting manner. He thanks Dean for having him on the Roast and mocks his song lyrics such as "Amore" for example and how he points it out, it is kind of true but still great songs! He tells Bob that he looks great but makes fun of his tuxedo. He ends it with talking about Bob entertaining the troops and announces that this Christmas he'll be going to "Mattel Toys" to entertain the "G.I. Joe Doll". Dean tells Howard he's great with words but not with jokes. This seemed more like Howard and Dean roasting each other then Howard roasting Hope. I will admit his punch line to the joke on Bob Hope entertaining the troops is perhaps the best insult of Bob's career with performing for the troops.

Dean introduces my 5th favorite guest who's known around the world as Geraldine and has worked many years to achieve stardom. He mentions a time when he wore a wig and dress and wasn't recognized by anyone except for "a couple of psychiatrists and a hand full of Vice Squad Officers". Here she is, my 5th Favorite guest on the roast...

FLIP WILSON


Flip Wilson did a little research on how Bob treated the black community and has learned that Bob has stiffed them. He tried to find out if he gave "a little bread for the brothers" but no, he finds out that Bob washes his own car. What and he and Bob have in common is they both love to play Golf. He doesn't have to tell Bob what his handicapped is because Bob told him what it is when he tried to join his club. He envied Bob for having his own Golf Tournament called "The Bob Hope Dessert Classic". Flip decided to have one of his own called "The Flip Wilson Ghetto Open". Since Bob's tournament is playing for the "Eisenhower Hospital", his will be played for the "Richy Pryor Clinic For Rat Bites And Bullet Wounds". He claims the winner of the tournament will receive a check for 36,000 dollars "or if he prefers a hundred dollars in actual cash". If there's a tie it will be settled by sudden death that way they won't have to play an extra Hole. The person will also win a car as a prize if the winner makes a hole in one, the model will be determined sometime late at night. He then ends with talking about the group of celebrities that will be playing on each team. Flip Wilson not only does a funny monologue and insult to Bob but just watch him throughout the Roast as he moves around, joins in on the jokes,gets into arguments and even gets offended at one point.

Dean introduces my 4th Favorite guest on the roast...

RICH LITTLE


Rich feels like he has his "whole act up here". He mocks Howard Cosell and says he's pretending to have a good time and is hoping that the Roast ends soon and does his impression on him. He does an impression of Jimmy Stewart saying "It's Bob Hope". He says he can do almost everybody on here and he gets into an argument with Flip Wilson and ends the argument with impersonating Flip's character Geraldine. Rich Little is mighty good at impersonations and boy as he had me laughing hard.

Number 3 isn't a guest; this is Dean showing and mocking a montage of clips of Bob's...

                                     FILM CAREER


Dean says Bob's films were very high class, but he shows a montage of clips of Bob and Bing Crosby playing Patty Cake and fake punching somebody in their funny "Road To..." Films. I wonder why Bing Crosby didn't attend this event? He shows a clip of why Bob never won an Oscar and it's a clip of him poorly being over the top with his acting when he's stranded at sea and an actor ruins his scene. Then we see a montage of Hope dancing who has great rhythm "until he reaches his feet". This montage is so funny and so true that I wish it were longer.

Bob's Hope's wife Dolores Hope introduces not a guest who's my 2nd favorite but the man of the hour himself...

BOB HOPE

Now it's Bob's turn to insult the people who insulted him and does he succeed, would it not be on my list if he didn't succeed. He says it's nice to see his Dolores and he hasn't been traveling lately and as result got to know the family personally. He's happy that NBC renewed Dean's liquor license for another year and makes fun of Dean reading queue cards on his show by saying he erases it when he breaths on it if he didn't like the joke. He asks Flip Wilson if it was all of him cause he's never seen him without High heels before and he said his series got canceled because Flip is no Sonny Bono. He thanks Governor Regain for his "kind words" but tells him he has no presidential aspirations and had 43 states tell him he's not running for anything. He insults Milton Berle by telling him he's the first comic to be impeached. He insults Johnny Bates by saying "he wears more padding than Phyllis Diller" and he says he doesn't care about Baseball and prefers looking at the chicks while smiling after smoking grass every afternoon. He says Phyllis Diller was the inspiration for "Psycho" and he's amazed by her recent operation but he can still tell that "the stitches on the right are still holding". He says John Wayne's going to do great in the sequel to "True Grit" because he's wearing the eye patch over his mouth. He insults Sugar Ray Robinson by teaching kids to bet on all sports he's involved in. He tells everyone that not only Ginger Roger stole the show in Alaska with him but also stole the electric blankets. As for Billy Graham he just thanks him and says he's the star of Radio, TV and Heaven. He says Jimmy Stewart's "a man of few words and even fewer laughs and tells everybody what a boring time he spent with him recently. He says it's nice to see Zsa Zsa Gabor free but takes it back and says Divorced and claims she's never been free. He tells a funny story about General Bradly in 1944. He tells Nipsey Russel if he keeps it up he'll be pumping gas for Chico and the man. As for Don Rickles he says some interesting news about him and insults him being on commercials. Bob Hope got even with everyone and some of his insults are really great.






Dean Martin introduces my number 1 favorite guest as "The Master Of Insults","The only man who holds a Black Belt for hatred", Evel Knievel's next jump "through his mouth" and Dean hopes you had your rabies shots cause here's my number 1 Favorite Guest on the Bob Hope Roast...

DON RICKLES



Don Rickles thanks Dean for the introduction and he thought Dean would love the evening if he knew he was here.He tells Neil Armstrong that's he's no longer on the moon (Which means he's done being famous for being on the moon), mocks him being up on the moon and says he's a great hero cause he keeps telling him that. He mocks Sugar Ray Robinson and tells Ray that he knows the Blacks cause "his lips lock" which means he can't talk. He gets booed and tells the audience there's no booing allowed or he's going to have Bob tell his jokes. He tells Bob he's old and washed up and if he's not laughing he'll show him a picture of Jack Benny. He then says he's at the home because he's with Jack Benny and an offended Milton Berle which Don assures him it's a joke and he takes it back. Dean insults Don and tells him he hasn't reached his year of being a great comedian and gets the tongue from one of the guests. He tells Dean that Frank Sinatra has a contract for him to be hit, but he says we need Italian people because we wouldn't know where the mail goes. He makes fun of Bob not being any race except American and when he was born their was an American Flag wrapped around him. He makes fun of James Stewart and tells him if he stands the movement can make him ill. He tells Governor Regain that he's feed up with him. He tells everyone Billy Graham helped him how to walk faster and does an impression. After all the insults he gives a sweet end to his roast on Bob. This is one of Don Rickles best and boy were people insulted by him here.

Those are my 12 Favorite Roast From The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast: Bob Hope. I hope you got some laughs and on the Roast you'll also see Captain Foster Brooks, Billy Graham, Jimmy Stewart, Omar Nelson Bradly, Dr. Henry Kissinger and more.