THE GOOD SON

 

We all remember child actor Macaulay Culkin who played the kid who was left home alone on Christmas, and took on two burglars with booby traps that we know would most likely kill them in real life (Especially in the second film) but still laughed at the slapstick that was taken place in front of us as we rooted for our hero; but what if Culkin's character was actually an evil psychopath that wanted to kill his family for being mean to him and treating him unfairly and instead uses the booby traps on them without having them survive like cartoons would? Well, we actually did get a film where Culkin played a psychopath that wanted to kill his family, and that film is...




Elijah Wood plays a kid named Mark who just witnessed his Mother's death and has trouble coping with his loss. The Father unfortunately has a two week business trip out of the country, but if he closes the deal, he and Mark will be set for life. While he's away, he sends Mark to stay at his Aunt and Uncle's house that have two children, and live by a child psychiatrist. Mark starts to have a close friendship with his cousin Henry (Culkin) however; Henry goes from talking Mark into doing bad things, to showing a sadistic nature of wanting to kill his own family. Mark tries hard to warn the family and protect them from Henry, but they think he's crazy and believe that the loss of his Mother had something to do with it. I'm going to be completely honest, as a fan of horror; I was actually hoping that this film would be a fun and thrilling cat and mouse horror flick, as an innocent Elijah Wood fights against a psychotic Macaulay Culkin. I wasn't expecting a masterpiece or anything, but I was expecting it to be at least entertaining! However, as I looked at the reviews and watched the film to judge it for myself, I was in for a huge disappointment.  



The main problem is Macaulay Culkin's character and performance. His character and motivation really doesn't make any sense at all! I mean the fact that we never learn why he's a psychopath or why he wants to kill his own family just really makes this crazy child a one dimensional evil villain, and considering that he's only a kid instead of an adult who doesn't have much of a past makes the idea dumber than it already is. Alright granted, we had the famous slasher villain Michael Myers in "Halloween" kill his own Sister at the age of 6 (Who is only half of Culkin's age), who is only meant to be an evil spawn much like Culkin's character, but that worked because the fact that the unseen murderer is revealed to be a kid was indeed a twist that most of us who saw the film didn't see coming and were shocked by it, and even now I still am shocked by it Also the film itself wasn't trying to reach the audience on a deep emotional level like this film was trying to do, it was clearly meant to be a thrilling slasher film that knows it's not supposed to be realistic or reach you on any emotional level except for fear.

 

Another thing I really hate about the concept of this villain is how obviously evil he is. Instead of acting innocent and happy, while also being able to show his dark side whenever he wants to, he's so cold and emotionless that his evil is never subtly hinted at! Every single time he's on screen, you know just by looking at his face and actions that this kid is evil to the core, even during the moments when he acts kind and innocent. Hell, even when we first meet him, we know right away that he's evil as he pops out of nowhere scaring his sister while wearing a pale white cardboard mask with dark eye holes (Similar to Michael Myers's mask); kicks his cousin while having dinner that's played out in a more sinister way than a childish prank as the character tries to convince his cousin that it was a joke; and enjoys breaking open his lobster by stabbing it constantly with a knife, than using a Lobster Cracker like everyone else. Seriously the film never subtly hints at his evil, nor does it slowly build up to his evil by making him all sweet, fun, and likable when we first meet him; to slowly showing signs of his true nature; to having him release the true monster that he is. He's evil all the way through, who is so evil, cold, and menacing looking, that you wonder why anyone hasn't picked up on his evil and weird behavior at all?! Even the things he says in the film don't sound like something a kid around that age would say, it sounds like something a grown and sophisticated serial killer would say!




In all honesty, I'd probably forgive and overlook how one dimensional and obviously evil that this character is if Culkin's performance was actually scary and intimidating, but he's nowhere near scary or intimidating at all, he's actually really dull and lifeless. I'm not kidding either, his performance is so bland, that it's not scary, it's actually really annoying. Could the director at least have Culkin really ham up his evil or something? I know he wouldn't be scary, but at least he would be some what entertaining and probably be less annoying compared to the performance that we're given. It would also make sense to make Culkin ham it up because not only does the film make him out to be an obvious villain from beginning to end, but the evil things he does are actually silly, instead of scary and creative. He has a gun that he made that can shoot out nails; and a funny looking dummy called "Mr. Highway" that he throws on the highway to make cars crash. This is supposed to be scary?! It's actually really silly, and not silly as in its entertainingly silly; it's annoyingly silly. The film also makes Culkin smoke and a drop an F-bomb, and while I'm not disturbed by any of that, those two elements just seemed to be hammered into the movie just to shock the kids that they're parents foolishly let them watch.



The film only gets worse when it tries to be emotional and serious. Now I've seen that kind of stuff work in horror movies before, even in films when the kid is the villain (Particularity in the underrated horror film "Orphan"); however, that aspect fails not just because of how obvious the film made Culkin out to be the villain, along with the silly evil things he does; but also for how corny and boring it is! I mean the stuff that's supposed to be emotional plays out like a really corny Soap Opera, from the corny acting, to the corny emotional music composed by Elmer Bernstein, which I'm sure is a film that he regrets composing along with "Robot Monster". Elijah Wood is usually a decent actor and I can tell is trying really hard to work with the stuff that he's given to do, but in the end, his performance is just as bad as Culkin's. His emotional moments are corny (Especially when he thinks that his Aunt is a reincarnation of his Mother; that was painfully insufferable); his moments of him staring and being quiet so he can look emotionally torn or curious, look like that he's posing for the camera; and if his dramatic moments aren't corny, then they'll be sillier than they already look (Especially the scene when he destroys all the food in the refrigerator thinking that Culkin has poisoned the food. That had me laughing hysterically, instead of me feeling bad for Wood).

 

Wendy Crewson as Culkin's Mother who's also a good actress, she too has plenty of scenes of her acting like Soap Opera corn, along with shots that look like she's posing for the camera and dramatic moments that come off as silly if they're not painfully corny (Funniest moments is the scene when she slaps and then hugs Wood at the same time that's both really silly and corny!). She also has a tragic back-story of her youngest son (As seen in a picture played by Culkin's brother Rory Culkin) drowning in the Bathtub (Hmmm, does Macaulay Culkin's character have anything to do with it?!) that's so cheesy, that the film gives her tons of moments of her just standing over cliff, while posing for the camera. The crazy thing about the film's emotional moments that seem to play an important part in the story is they’re actually really cut short. I know I should consider that to be a good thing since they're shot and directed in a really corny way, but the film cuts those scenes so short that it's like the film doesn't care about the emotional moments that Wood and Crewson are going through, despite that the pain that the characters are going through is an important part of the film's story. So if the film doesn't seem to care about the character’s emotions and is more focused on an annoyingly dull Macaulay Culkin doing bad and evil things, why have those scenes at all? As for the rest of the supporting cast, they're so bland and forgettable, that I'm not going to waste my time talking about them.




If the film can't get any dumber with the dull and one dimensional obvious villain, and scenes that are so corny that it makes me want to vomit, the film has indeed its share of moments that are stupid and don't make any sense. In one scene when Culkin hurts his Sister (played by Culkin's Sister Quin Culkin), once Wood protects her and the two start to fight, instead of the Sister telling her Mother that Culkin grabbed her by the ears while also telling her that Wood and Culkin are fighting, she just tells her that the two boys are fighting. Why not also mention the part when Culkin grabbed her by the ears, I know if I was around her age, I'd tell someone? Things only get dumber with Culkin being so obviously pure evil that it makes me wonder why his parents don't catch on with his evil behavior sooner, or even before Wood ever came?  The parents are also stupid enough to leave under-aged children by themselves in the middle of the night without someone watching them! Who leaves under-aged kids alone in the middle of the night!? Ok, we wouldn't have a movie if the parents did catch on Culkin's evil before the events and I could go along with their ignorance and careless choices if the film and pay-off was done well, but it isn't at all! As for the climax on the cliff where Wood and Culkin fight to their death, while being filmed on an actual cliff with Wood and Culkin being heavily trained to do their own stunts, the climax was really boring and unexciting. It's really just Culkin and Wood rolling around on a cliff, ending with the Mother making the choice of who she should save, which is of course is so obvious and predictable, that anyone with half a brain can figure it out.

For a horror film that I thought had an interesting concept with its casting choice, the pay-off was terrible! Culkin's performance is as annoyingly dull and lifeless as the acting in the "Twilight" films; the fact that the film never hints, builds, or surprises us with his evil is really disappointing; the acting from Wood, Crewson, and the rest of the cast is corny, silly, and bland; the scenes that we're supposed to be emotionally touched by are cheesy and feel like the people behind the film just put them in there hoping you'd buy into this half-ass cheese, as well as those scenes and story-arc's feeling out of place with the film's unrealistic and silly horror nature that's not supposed to be silly; the score is terrible; the climax is boring; and the film has so many idiotic and painfully silly things going for it, that it doesn't make the film so bad that it's fun to watch.

RATING 1/5