ERNEST SCARED STUPID

The first review that I did this year was "Ernest Goes to Jail", and being that it's still the month of Halloween, it's now time that I review the next film that would follow in the Ernest film series...

Out of all the Ernest covers I remember seeing at Blockbuster when I was a kid, the particular one that interested me the most was the cover to "Ernest Scared Stupid". Just the image of Ernest popping out of a giant Jack-a-lantern in front of a spooky looking graveyard with the last two words of the title being written in green-ooze, looked like a film that seemed up my alley being that I'm a Halloween junkie. But I never got around to seeing it since my young mind and limited visits to "Blockbuster" was only on films that I've either been dying to see, or wanted to eagerly rent again. Now after finally seeing it already knowing the stupidity of these Ernest films, is it the fun kind of stupid, or the boring kind of stupid? ON WITH THE REVIEW!!!

Ernest P. Worrell (Jim Varney) works as a garbage man for a friendly small town, and helps a couple of the local kids build a tree house. But of all the trees that Ernest picks, he chooses the scariest looking tree in the darkest part of the woods. After constructing the house, Ernest discovers from a weird and creepy old lady (Eartha Kitt) that inside tree contains an imprisoned troll who can only be freed on Hallows-eve by a Worrell who lays their hand on the tree and says a few magic words that will summon the evil creature. And for no rhyme or reason at all, this crazy know-it all lady who fears the dangers that may unfold, tells Ernest the exact words to use to unleash the troll, and Ernest foolishly does so (choosing between Ernest and Kitt's character, I'm still trying incredibly hard at deciding who the real idiot of this film is). With the fiendish troll now unleashed from his prison who plans to create an army of trolls to help him take over the town as he goes after the kids who live in it, it is up to Ernest with the help of the old lady and a couple of the town’s kids to set things right.

In the previous two Ernest films, I was disappointed in the absence of the qualities that I found to be emotionally intriguing about the Ernest character that originated from "Ernest Goes to Camp". And while this film does give him three scenes of his character being sad and disappointed, they come off as rather cheesy for how exaggerated his reactions are, as opposed to being as subtle and downbeat as he was in his first film. But just like in his other films that followed after "Ernest Goes to Camp", he's still entertaining to watch through his energetic performance and likable personality. And just like in the previous film that he was in, he's showered with just as many jokes and visual gags. As you would expect, most of them aren't funny, in fact some of them are on the same level of forced and obviously staged slapstick as "Ernest Goes to Camp" had, such as Ernest accidentally hitting himself with a nunchaku, or Ernest's delayed reaction after crushing his hand with the lid of a dumpster. But then you'd get the same kind of surreal type of humor as "Ernest Goes to Jail" had, where it's odd, questionable, and makes no sense (perhaps even less sense than the gags in the other film), but still enjoyable to watch, fun to look at, and even at times funny. How Ernest constantly jumps back and forth to dressing up as different characters when either giving a kid advice or when in battle with the trolls for example, is strange for how pointless and out of the blue it is, but I still found it impressive how Varney can play these multiple characters, where I did get a bit of a chuckle here and there. The funniest bit of the movie that's so stupid but yet so funny for how absurd it is, is when Ernest mistakes the troll’s weakness for something else. Ernest and Eartha Kitt's character look up what can kill a troll in an ancient book, and discover that their weakness is Milk (yes, you read it right). However, the L is missing which causes Ernest to mistake their weakness for a Bulgarian product called Miak. The reason why I find it so funny is the fact that Ernest mistakes such an easy to figure out answer that even a three year old can instantly answer correctly, for something that clearly doesn't exist. And in a few scenes later when Ernest comes face to face with a troll, he manages to find some Miak that's imported from Bulgaria and hard to find since it’s seasonal. What is Miak you may ask? I'm not exactly sure what it is? It looks like some kind of beverage or sauce. But whatever it is, I'm curious to know more about this product, and how someone who can't figure out the obvious can get a hold of such an obscure item. And keep in mind, Miss Know-it-all Eartha Kitt was in the room with him when he made this assumption, how come she didn't know it? Starting to see what I mean of why I wonder who the film's real idiot is?

The film not only carries nearly the same amount of surreal humor as "Ernest Goes to Jail" had, but it also has the same kind of wacky sets that helped make the environment in that film so visually interesting, only here its set to a Halloween environment, which makes it even cooler. There are 80s and 90s vintage holiday decorations, as well as dozens of handcraft decorations made by kids that makes the early 90s nostalgia of being a kid pleasant; the design for Eartha Kitt's trash filled lair looks spooky and ancient that has a tiny bit of a steam punk vibe to it; we get one of the coolest and yet strangest tree houses to have ever been built in a kids film; and to top it all off, a dark and foggy forest full of rotting trees that homages the classic black and white Universal monster movies. And speaking of classic black-and-white monster movies, the film's opening credits is drenched with them, which is personally my favorite part of the movie. Just watching Ernest hop around and react scared to images of public domain black and white horror movies as a few unsuspected gags would pop-up (including a one second cameo of the film's casting director) is the exact kind of unusual spooky fun that I was hoping to see in a film like this. It's almost as if the film's director (John Cherry) decided to combine the vintage look that the opening credits for "Ernest Saves Christmas" had with the same bizarre and energetic style that made the opening credits for "Ernest Goes to Jail" so much fun. If I had any nitpicks with the visual style for this movie, I will say that I wish to see more stuff going on in these surroundings. I hoped to see this treehouse have the same kind of wacky surprises as Ernest's house had in the last film; or to see more Halloween costumes and decorations (I swear that in two different locations the film reuses the same exact scarecrow). We aren't even given a graveyard as what the cover for the film promised us, which ticks me off for how misleading it is. I'm not at all implying that none of it is not fun to look at, or that the Halloween atmosphere doesn't capture the spirit of the holiday, I just wish that the film went a little more out with its Halloween visuals and gave us a few more surprises for these cartoony locations.

I feel like the reason why the film couldn't do more with its Halloween visuals and visual gags is because that most of their money went to the effects for the trolls, and it shows. These effects are actually quite impressive for a film starring Ernest, especially for the head troll. They legitimately look scary and gross as each of them are given their own distinctive design that just adds to the levels of creativity. Even the trolls that look cheesy, or are obviously re-used costumes of the clowns from "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" just now made to resemble trolls, are still fun and creepy to look at. These trolls in my opinion also outrank all the other villains from the Ernest series mainly because they're pretty much what make this film so dark. And yes, you read it right, as stupid as the film is, this film has some pretty dark qualities that you wouldn't expect in an Ernest film. To an adult crowd it's hardly ever scary, for how predictable the scares are, and that you know for a fact that everything will turn out alright in the end. But for its target audience, it has some pretty intense stuff. The image of watching hideous trolls pop-out of nowhere to turn kids into little wooden dolls, as they would try to kill Ernest in violent ways as all of it takes place in a foreboding environment is just nightmare inducing for a child. Some of the things that Ernest foolishly gets himself into are also quite disturbing as well, such as nearly being crushed inside a garbage truck, or being sliced off-screen by a gigantic bear trap. There is a touch of comedy added to these scenes to prevent them from coming off as brutal, but it's still harsh to see Ernest go through this kind of abuse. Ernest himself was even nearly going to squish a duo of bullies dressed up as trolls inside his garbage truck, as a police man is preparing to open fire on them; not since his first highly mean spirited TV Special "Hey Vern, It's My Family Album" have I seen this kind of abuse to kids in something Ernest related. I'm not going to pretend that the film's scares and environment are on the same level of disturbing as say "Return to OZ", "The Brave Little Toaster", or "Gremlins", since the film is still extremely goofy. The trolls themselves are also given a few silly moment that don't have that right balance between laughs and scares as “Gremlins” had.  And let’s not forget how incredibly ludicrous the troll’s weakness is as they get taken out in a climax that mashes "Monster Squad" with the climax to "Ernest Goes to Camp" that's silly but still highly entertaining, and on one occasion gruesome since we see a troll's bloody remains. But with all that said, I still have to give this film credit for taking a darker turn when compared to the other Ernest films that's not usually common. And beyond that, this is the scariest depiction of trolls that I've seen in a horror film of any kind, which isn't really saying much.

A cast member who yucks up their performance just as much as Varney does is Eartha Kitt, who I swear that whenever the two are on-screen together they're trying to out mug each other. She's not funny, but her mannerisms, energy, and personality is more than enough to make her performance be bouncing off the walls entertaining. It's a shame that she didn't appear in other Ernest films after this because I would've loved to see her and Varney as the Ernest character work-off each other again. In Ernest last misadventure for the big screen, he had a dog named Rimshot who would pretty much do nothing but look cute. But here, they decided to have him do more things for his master such as assist him, motivate him, and even somehow drive (how is this small dog able to reach the gas pedal). It's nice to see this dog aiding him master, and giving them more time to interact with another unlike before. Another set of characters returning for this Ernest film, are the fat and skinny guy who are usually annoying but proved to be enjoyable for when we last saw them. But much like how the young skinny actor in the first Ernest film got replaced by a skinny frail old man in the second film; the fat guy who appeared in all the previous Ernest films is now replaced by another fat actor, and with the exception of the scene for when they're selling Ernest weapons, these set of characters are back to being as obnoxiously unfunny as they were when we were first introduced to them.

As for the rest of the characters, such as the kids and the town’s people, they're all as dull and bland as the no nonsense characters in "Ernest Goes to Camp" and "Ernest Goes to Jail". Only this time, the acting from all these characters is very hokey. This is really the worst piece of acting that I've seen by far in an Ernest film. At least the acting from the supporting cast who aren't supposed to be as silly as Ernest in the other films were trying. Here, it seems like that John Cherry is no longer trying to give his cast good direction, as he just seems to be focusing more on the visuals and Varney and Kitt's mugging thinking that everything else is unimportant. And if that's really the case, I'm sorry but I don't care how boring these characters are, you still have to put the same kind of effort to these kind of characters as you did before, because if he doesn't care than why should we? Plus it's not like all the serious characters in these films were boring, remember how charming and lovable most of the characters in "Ernest Saves Christmas" were, despite being so clichéd? Just by the shot of a supposedly scared girl who's shown to be giggling at an off-screen troll in the first scene that happens after the opening credits, or the scene when Kitt learns about unconditional love from a very awkwardly acted and paced moment between a Mother and a daughter, just exposes the carelessness of direction for these characters and scenes without Ernest or the trolls on-screen presence.

OVERALL THOUGHTS

There does seem to be a bit of a lack passion to making this film given for how poorly acted the majority of the supporting cast in the film are, but I don't think it lacks being as entertaining and enjoyable as the previous Ernest films. It's just as stupid as all the other films starring Ernest, and I don’t recommend it to an adult crowd unless if they enjoyed the previous Ernest films and haven’t seen this one yet. But for the audience that the film is intended for, though there are indeed much better Halloween films to show them, it's still harmless, and carries enough gags, crazy visuals, and scares to keep them entertained as they experience it with such a fun and likable lead along with an equally eccentric Eartha Kitt.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see if I can find anything else on MIAK!