If you're expecting this sequel to have our four heroes battle a new creature or having Super Shredder coming back after his anti climatic death of being crushed by wood from a collapsing dock, well you're going to be seriously disappointed. April gets transported back in time to ancient Japan from a magical antique scepter and the Turtles must go back and rescue her. While the Turtles are there, they lose the scepter and are now stuck in time and must defend a village from an Evil Emperor and an English weapons trader. That's the simple way to describe the premise of the movie. For a kids movie, it's a really political and complicated plot which gets boring and uninteresting really, really fast. Furthermore, the atmosphere feels like a mish mash of 4 different movie genres. One aspect being a kids movie starring fictional creative character; the second aspect being a time travel comedy; the third aspect being a serious yet cliched Samurai war movie; and the final aspect being a British historical drama. Would any of you expect this to be a Ninja Turtles movie; no you don't! You expect it to take place in the city and see our heroes fight crime against Ninjas, monsters, and mutants!
Lets talk about our heroes. First off, oh my god what did they do to them. In the first film they looked real; in the second film they looked a bit cartoony, but still looked cool; now they look like abominations. Seriously, they're so phony, cheesy and awkward looking that it makes me want to barf on the screen and cringe every time I look at them. Even their mouth movements are horrible and awkward looking. Don't believe me LOOK!
You know there's something familiar about the way they look. Hmmmmmm...
Oh my god, they're green mutated versions of Wallace from the classic Claymation films "Wallace And Gromit"!
Getting back to our heroes, they're bland and not funny! In the previous two films, they were both fun and interesting characters, but here, they spend the whole entire film acting like obnoxious idiots with their horribly written dialogue. Granted, plenty of their dialogue in the previous films were not that good either, but the voice actors had fun with it and knew how to sell it out, when in this film, the voice actors feel like they're just B.S.ing their way through this horrible written script so they can just get paid. There's also a corny and bland subplot between Raphael and a kid named Yoshi, which I'll admit almost did work, but it felt really, really pointless to the plot and of course is just filler and an excuse for the Turtle wanting to stay which of course we all know he won't, so why even have it in the plot? This version of these heroes is the main reason why I stayed away from this franchise because everything about them in this film is bland, stupid, unfunny and obnoxious, which is how I felt when I heard of and saw these heroes when I was a kid.
How are the villains in the film, despite feeling like they're both from totally different films. Sab Shimono as Lord Norinaga is a villain I barley and hardly remember from the film. His personality is bland, he's not interesting, and he's just all around boring. Stuart Wilson as the English weapons trader Walker, while being a little more interesting than Norinaga; he's still boring and lame. He also has an obsession with his pet bird...I don't get it. So these two villains are really boring, very forgettable and feel just as out of place in a "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie as the plot itself.
The supporting characters don't save the film either. First, we have Splinter who looks just as cheesy as the Turtles (Not to mention that we never see his full body), he's boring, bland, and Elmo is no longer voicing him, which means we get a different voice actor who can't fill in the shoes for the original voice actor. April O'Neil is played again by Paige Turco and after two films the writers and actresses who played her still haven't brought the charm and fun that the character from the cartoon has brought. Casey Jones is back and is played again by Elias Koteas and if you think he's going to go on around bustin heads with the Turtles and getting romantically involved with April, you're dreaming because he gets a babysitting job watching Samurais from the past who are now in the present. The writers are truly wasting a good character. We also see his ancestor played by the same actor, but guess what, he's just as completely boring and uninteresting as every single damn character in this movie! There are other characters like the warriors, henchman and village residents, but come on, it's not worth talking about them since their forgettable, boring and feel like characters from different movies.
The fight scenes in the movie are very, very lame and unexciting. There's not a single fight that I found cool, amazing or memorable. I didn't even think it was possible either since we're actually seeing our heroes use their weapons again and are going up against samurais. The humor as I said before completely bombs. The Turtles aren't funny, the dialogue isn't funny, and the fish out of water jokes with the Turtles in the past and the Samurais in the present are dully played out. The cinematography isn't even good either, and again doesn't even feel or look like a Turtles movie either.
It's no wonder why fans and critics hate this movie, everything about it sucks. It's out of place, it's boring, it's not funny, the special effects suck, the story doesn't come close to the expectations of a fan of the franchise, and it's all a very anti climatic snoozefest.
RATING 0/5
OVERALL ON THE TRILOGY
The first film was no masterpiece, but it was still cool, dark and fun. The second film toned everything down for the worst but it was still entertainingly bad. The third film killed not only the trilogy, but also killed the live action film franchise to these iconic characters as well. As you watch these three films together, you'll notice the films going from decent, to bad, to worse. I only recommend the first film, but only to a fan of these characters since I don't think it's good enough for a newcomer. However, if you want to see something entertainingly bad, the second film is not a bad choice either. It's not a good trilogy at all and it should have ended right after the first film.
RATING FOR THE TRILOGY
2/5
I understand that there's reboot coming out sometime this year from the Nickelodeon Studios and who knows, maybe it will redeem the absence of a live action Turtles film, however, Michael Bay is involved in the project as one of the producers so I'm a little iffy. I guess will just have to wait and see.
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