I may not be Jewish, but that doesn't mean I can't wish
people or say Happy Chanukah around the Holiday Season. Why not though, a
Jewish person may not celebrate Christmas, but that person is more than welcome
to wish me a Happy Chanukah. Even when I say Happy Chanukah to someone who is
not Jewish, or wish someone a Merry Christmas who is Jewish, I except the
person to say the same back, since it is still considered a Holiday,
even if I or those people don’t celebrate it. However, the usual response is
"I'm not Jewish", than wishing the Holiday
back. All I'm saying is, just because you don't celebrate a Holiday,
doesn't mean you shouldn't wish it or acknowledge it. To get into the Chanukah
spirit, I'm going to review, what appears to be the only well known Chanukah
movie, which I deeply feel bad for the Jewish people out there who have to put
up with it. This is...
In this animated musical Holiday
comedy starring Adam Sandler. Sandler plays a Jewish alcoholic, troublemaker
named Davey who hates Chanukah because of a tragic event that happened to him
on that Holiday. With a huge record of his
reckless crimes, an old referee named Whitey (Also voiced by Sandler) decides
to try and help him change his ways, to prevent Davey from going to jail. It
sounds like a nice, fun, and entertaining Holiday
film, but sadly it's far from it!
Adam Sandler as our main character Davey, I get the film is
trying to make him like Scrooge, who hates the Holiday from his bad past, but
man is he way too unlikable! Not just because of his juvenile personality, but
because of how annoying he is, and we all know, when Sandler gets annoying, he
really becomes annoying! The film does give him a sad past, a love interest
(Jackie Sandler), and redemption at the end, but it feels so forced, so half-assed
into the plot, and is so bland and corny, that it not only lacks the Holiday
spirit, but feels really out of place with the films juvenile humor (Will get
to that later)! The referee Whitey who tries to help Sandler, does seem like a
good character, however, not only do we know that Sandler is obviously voicing
him, but the high pitched old man voice that he puts on really destroys this
supposedly humble character. I mean, if you think Sandler as Davey is annoying
and unfunny, his voice acting as Whitey is ear rapping annoying! It's got to be
one of the most annoying voices that I ever heard in my life! Even when he
tries to be emotional, it's not only annoying, but really kills the emotion
that this film and character has (Even if it's still out of place, with the
films juvenile humor). I mean, he's the one who gives us Davey’s tragic back
story, and believe me, out of all characters in this film, he's the last person
I'd choose to hear about Davey’s tragic past. Sandler also voices Whitey's
sister, who is just annoying, unfunny, and irritating as all the other
characters that Sandler voices in this film. The rest of the characters, aside
from the racially offensive Asian stereotype voiced by Rob Schneider (Don't
give me that he's half Asian crap! It still doesn't give him the right to talk
in a stereotypical Asian accent that he clearly doesn't have!), are very bland,
one-dimensional, and forgettable.
The film's animation, while looking very nice, colorful,
Holidayish, giving the characters realistic movements, and being well detailed,
it really pains me to see this great big budget animation get wasted, by the
films juvenile humor. The humor in this film is far away from funny, it’s sick,
gross, stupid, obnoxious, annoying, and mixing it with a sad premise and great
animation, destroys the film. You have Sandler humping a car; Whitey being
frozen in poop; Whitey showing off his hairy body; lots
of fart and burp jokes; a guy eating a sweaty jock strap from a fat guy; a fat
kid trying on bras; Sandler giving himself a wedgie; and pooping reindeer that
love eating poop! Does any of that belong in a beautifully animated about a guy
hating a Holiday because of a tragic part in
his life? Even if the film was just a straight out comedy, and took away the
out of place seriousness, I still wouldn't find any of these scenes funny,
because the humor is clearly there to get a cheap laugh! The film even has in
your face Product Placement, which not only looks and sounds like a commercial
as Whitey points out all the stores in the mall, but the store icons, and items
from the store magically come alive to help Sandler change his ways! Yeah, forget
Whitey; forget the three ghosts that helped Scrooge; forget the Angel Clarence
that helped George Bailey in "It's A Wonderful Life"; Product
Placement is what helps Sandler become a better man. If that's not insulting
enough for you, Whitey actually prays in an empty Mall, then in a church. You
know the Holiday films and specials that go
against commercialism; this film worships it!
The film as I said is a musical, and not only is the songs forced into the movie, but man are they boring, bland, annoying, and forgettable. All of them are sung by Sandler, and if you think most of them are sung by his character Davey, Whitey actually gets more songs. Yeah, if you think his speaking voices is annoying, his singing voice is worse. He actually gets 4 freaking songs! He has a Product Placement rhyme called "At The Mall"; he an gets annoying song called "Technical Foul" sung by all three Sandler characters, which triples the level of annoyance; he gets a short dream song about winning a patch called the "Patch Song" which will give you a headache, while hurting your ears; and when we get a corny emotional song sung by Davey and his love interest, Whitey kills it, with his annoying voice, and horrible jokes. Davey’s only solo song is "Davey's Song", which is really forgettable, and unfunny. Did I mention by the way that the Product Placement characters get to sing their own song? Seriously, they do, and that's when they're helping Davey, which is corny and forgettable. The film's only Chanukah song is the dance number as Sandler reforms and tries to help Whitey called "Bum Biddy", which is of course, corny and annoying. The sad part is, Sandler doesn't sing his famous "Chanukah Song" in the film. Instead it’s played during the credits, the point where I'm more than willing to turn off this horrible film.
What more can I say about this Chanukah film, everything about it sucks! It's painfully not funny; when it tries to be sad and emotional, it's not only done poorly, but feels really out of place with the films juvenile world; the characters are bland, unlikable, and annoying as hell; the majority of songs rape my ears just as bad as the Wookie's in "The Star Wars Holiday Special" (Especially Sandler's old man voice in general); the film's worship of commercialism is really cringe worthy; and seeing it all with beautiful animation, makes it worse than it already is.
RATING 0/5
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