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Friday, August 7, 2015

PSYCHO SHARK (JAWS IN JAPAN)

While I'm still busy preparing a special series of reviews for October, since it is still the summer and I promised to review at least one Shark movie  or “JAWS” knock-off during the summer, I've decided to choose a Shark film that was made in Japan about a giant monstrous Shark called...

Image result for Psycho SHark

(Yeah, doesn't that poster look like a rip-off of the poster for the ultimate "JAWS" rip-off "Great White")

OR ALSO KNOWN AS...

Image result for Psycho SHark


Man does this film look like a really bad rip-off of "JAWS", especially when considering the fact that one of the film’s two titles carries the title "JAWS" in big red letters, which will make people think that this film is a sequel to "JAWS"! Surprisingly however, remember in my review "Jurassic Shark" how the poster and title looked like it was going to rip-off "JAWS" and "Jurassic Park", but instead did the complete opposite of what the film was supposed to do as it was advertised; this film does the same exact thing. Before I start talking about the plot, I just want to let you know that there WILL be SPOILERS because after the stuff that I’ve seen from watching this movie, I simply can't be brief about it and not give away the ending! So with that out of the way, ON WITH THE REVIEW!

I'll just tell you now, if you're expecting the Shark in this movie to be the star, forget about it, because it’s not the star of this film at all! This film instead plays out more like a mix between the "Found Footage" genre and the film "Psycho", with only a tiny bit of "JAWS". The film's about these two young college girls on vacation that stay at a hotel on the beach with just them and the guy who runs the place, and are given a video camera from the guy who runs the hotel. As they have their vacation fun, one of the girls finds a tape for a camera that was left behind by one of the guests, and out of curiosity she plays the tape and discovers that the previous guests have been killed by the owner, and that the owner plans to kill her and her friend next. How does a giant Shark fit into this murder mystery film, it just shows up at the end and seems to be working with the killer! This film is full of questions that you are just as eager as our lead is to find the answers too, even if you do feel like the reasons are going to be stupid and poorly written. The two big questions that I wonder about as much as the characters do is how come our lead can only see the violent footage on the tape and yet no one else can; and if the killer loves to murder woman himself while filming them, than what's with his connection with the giant Shark that appears at the end? The answer to these questions and many other questions that you may have about the film is never at all explained, nor does the film do a good job at leaving these questions for the viewer’s interpretation because of how poorly written and made it is!

 Image result for Psycho Shark

When it comes to characters in this film, they're no different from the typical bland characters in shark movies with actors that can't act for crap; and the dialogue that these characters are given is dull and cheap. Even the film's killer is really boring and not at all interesting or even memorable for that matter. In fact, he's so forgettable that you see very little of him in the movie, as well as barely getting a feel for his relationship with the girl that he plans to kill. He feels like an important character that's just downplayed in the film as an after thought, especially when considering the fact that he is the main villain instead of the giant Shark! The build-up to the giant Shark that appears at the end is lacking. There's no tension, no suspense, no thrills, no any of that good stuff! The closest things that we get that build-up to the shark is the "JAWS" style POV shot of the Shark underwater; a girl that looks like she's getting killed by the Shark; the killer getting a mini Shark statue; and a scene where we see a terrible CGI Shark fin as its about to kill a girl on a raft that's shot in a very familiar way of how the boy on the raft got killed in "JAWS", which then in a very annoying and yet predictable twist like in "JAWS: The Revenge" that whole sequence was just a pointless nightmare! That's the only build-up we get, and none of it is cool and exciting, nor does it prepare you for the fact that the Shark itself is a larger than life piece of CGI crap that's as awful as the CGI in the other Shark films that I've reviewed! The horrible part is (as if the Shark itself doesn't look horrible enough) we only in the very least get a minute and a half of this giant Shark as it eats our leads by jumping out of the water towards the characters in slow-motion to only immediately cut to a shot of blood splattering on a camera, which is disappointing that we don't see this computerized Shark devour these bland girls. The crazy part is not only the killer along with his friend somehow manage to not get crushed by the Shark that leaps on to dry land, but we don't even see the shark after the attack and I'm willing to bet that the amount of blood that splattered all over the camera mostly came from the shark that hurt itself while landing on to land off-screen as it ate those chicks!

 Image result for Psycho Shark

Looking at how the film itself is made, you can tell that it was made on a really tiny budget which makes the film look just as cheaply made as "Jurassic Shark" even though I think "Jurassic Shark" looks way worse than this film! There are plenty of shots and things in the film that are stupid and make no sense, nor are they laughably bad for that matter, they're all boring and annoying. One of the scenes that don't make sense in terms of building-up to the Shark is the scene when a girl is taking a shower and fears that someone is in the bathroom that's going to kill her ("Psycho" anyone). The weird thing about this scene is I didn't know what it was trying to make you think was coming after her. Was it the hotel owner, because if that's the case you're revealing him as the killer way too early in the film; was the friend about to pull a prank on her, which would lead to a false jump scare; or was it somehow going to be the Shark that we've never seen yet, and yet can somehow walk on land like a human (Considering how crazy and over the top that Shark films are, wouldn’t you be thinking the same thing if the film decided to go that route). Well it turns out that the scene was building up to NOTHING which is both stupid and pointless! Another example of the film making no sense is since the film is pretty much being a "Found Footage" film, it likes to go back and fourth between present day to our character watching the found footage of the people who were at the hotel before they checked in. As simple as the concept sounds, the way that film does the "Found Footage" aspect is an unorganized mess! The majority of scenes in this movie that involve the found footage usually involves our main character watching the footage, but then in other scenes the film just randomly cuts to a character taking a shower or lying in bed to then showing the found footage, to later on cutting back to what are main characters were just doing a few minutes ago before the scene cuts to the found footage, making it obvious that they didn't watch the video at all while the found footage scenes were being shown to us! The film also randomly uses static effects for the present day scenes despite that no one in the film is actually filming our characters as the effect is happening. I mean what's up with these choices; it's just annoyingly random and makes no sense! The only thing that kind of makes sense with the films decisions regarding the "Found Footage" aspect of the film are when the scenes cut back and fourth to the found footage that we saw earlier, to a similar situation that's going on in the present, but even that's annoying and not at all scary or done well for that matter! To make things even worse about the film, this film has a really perverted fetish with getting close-up shots of women's bras and using Low-Angle shots to shoot at their crotches as the girls fool around. Being the male that I am, while it does at times look hot to look at, it doesn’t at all feel necessary and it does get old, boring, and repetitive real fast!

Need I go on with how bad this film is? The acting is bad and boring; the CGI effects, as well as the film itself looks very cheap; the fact that we don't see a Shark until the end of the film and only for a very short time is major false advertisement for what we were expecting this film to be; its fetish over making the girls look hot in their swim suits, is annoyingly pointless and sleazy; and it's attempts at making a "Found Footage" movie with a serial killer that runs a hotel along with a giant Shark is such a thoughtless mess that it makes little to no sense at all! This film is a complete waste of time and is so stupid and poorly made that when the film ends you’ll be sitting there thinking for a moment wondering what the hell did you just watch!

RATING 0/5

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