GODZILLA (1998)

My review of the new Godzilla movie is on the way, but lets take a look at America's last attempt at making a "Godzilla" film, which takes us back to 1998, when advertisements for the new Godzilla movie was everywhere. I'm talking about buses, billboards, TV, Movie theaters, magazines, and none of the advertisements showed Godzilla's full image. It was either his foot, his tail, or his eye. When people saw the movie, many people (especially Godzilla fans) walked out of the theaters in disgust at how bad the movie was? How bad is it in my opinion, ON WITH THE REVIEW!



A giant dinosaur like monster named Godzilla, comes to New York City to populate it with its babies and destroy it. However, a scientist (Matthew Broderick), a News reporter (Maria Pitillo), an agent of DGSE (Jean Reno), and the mayor of NYC (Michael Lerner) plan to stop this giant monster from causing havoc on their city. That's pretty much the plot. It's simple; it has Godzilla causing mayhem like he did in the 1954 film; and is directed by Roland Emmerich, who directed "Independence Day", which was no masterpiece, or high class art, but it was entertaining and cool with its special effects and action; and that's what most people were expecting when coming into this film. So where does this film fall flat? Well the director Roland Emmerich never liked the Godzilla films at all. He only agreed to do it because he was promised to have complete creative control over the film. And when your director is not a fan of a film franchise that he's partaking in, it's best not to have him direct the film at all. Also giving a non-Godzilla fan complete control on a Godzilla film that he's directing is not only a ludicrous decision, but chances are, you know it's going to backfire big time, and boy does this film show!




First of all, there's our main star and monster Godzilla. That's not freaking Godzilla! I know it's supposed to be altered and look realistic, as well as not having a guy in a rubber suit. I get that, I expected that, and I understand that, but his design looks nothing and I mean nothing like the classic Godzilla, it's all wrong. It looks more like a crappy version of the T-Rex from "Jurassic Park", than it does Godzilla. On top of it, the rubber suit Godzilla monster looks way more intimidating and realistic compared to this obvious CGI Godzilla wanna be! To make things worse, the monster doesn't even carry any of Godzilla's trademark characteristics. Instead of having blue atomic breath, it just breaths on cars and they automatically explode! Yeah, no blue laser coming out of its mouth, and no fire either, it's just his bad breath! The Godzilla roar is not even close to the traditional Godzilla roar! It sounds like crap, pure crap! Instead of  the monsters destroying buildings like in the classic 1954 film, it just runs around like a scared little child or civilian being attacked by a giant monster, while the army destroys the buildings for it. We are here to see Godzilla (Or whatever the hell it is) destroy the city right, not the freaking dumbass army! By the way, for some strange reason no one in the first two encounters sees where the monster goes too, it just freaking disappears. This is NYC, one of the most crowded cities in the world, and you're telling me that no one knows where this giant monster ran off too? Even their explanation on how it's possible is complete BS. When the monster hides in the water, or leaves it, it doesn't create a giant wave to flood the city, how is that possible with a giant monster?! There are even moments when we're supposed to feel bad for it, yeah feel bad for a giant monster who wants to destroy the world and populate it with its babies! I feel so bad that we're trying to kill it! That's another downer too, there's no monster for this creature to fight; it's just the military. I know the first film did that, but here, instead of a powerful and creative weapon killing it, it's just a bunch of missiles that were used on it before, that now seem to have an effect on it. Do I need to say more about Godzilla's Americanized portrayal in this film?




As for the characters and casting, they suck just as bad as our monster. The film stars Matthew Broderick, yeah, when you think of a Godzilla film, the person you want to be as your leading man is Matthew Broderick. His performance is so bland, awkward, unfunny, and annoying that you begin to wonder why they casted him for this film and what happened to the cool and fun Ferris Buller? You then have his bland love interest played by Maria Pitillo, and that's what the performance and character sadly is! She's also accompanied by a cameraman played by Hank Azaria. Do you prey for the monster to kill him? Well...is the monster such a disgrace to Godzilla that it shouldn't even be called Godzilla? Speaking of Arzaria, three of the voice actors from "The Simpsons" are in this film, which the characters and the creator of the show happened to be big Godzilla fans. You once again have Hank Azaria (Who voiced Moe, Apu and the comic-book guy); Harry Shearer (Who voiced Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner and Mr.Burns) as the superior journalist and News reporter who you wish gets killed too; and Nancy Cartwright (Who voiced Bart Simpson) as a frightened secretary. Not only do their performances stink, but it feels out of place to put part of "The Simpsons" cast in a "Godzilla" film, fans of the film franchise or not. If that's not out of place enough, the Mayor of the city is named Ebert, and his Aide is named Gene. This is Emmerich's way of getting even with the two famous critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert for giving his previous films thumbs down by mocking the crap out of the two. However, the monster doesn't kill them! What's the point of getting revenge on them if your monster doesn't kill them? Was Emmerich expecting them to give his film a Thumbs Up if he made fun of them, but didn't kill them, it makes no sense, and even Siskel himself wonders the same thing? The only actor and character who was close to be interesting and cool was Jean Reno as the French agent, but his performance and character is sadly just as bland as the whole human cast.

Aside from the monster being nothing like Godzilla, and the film having horrible bland and obnoxious characters, another thing this film suffers is how much it rips off "Jurassic Park". Plot wise, no; scene wise, yes! The film actually feels like a "Jurassic Park" sequel than it does a Godzilla film, with its similar look and style. When the baby Godzilla's are chasing after our characters, who isn't thinking of any of the scenes with the Velociraptors? When the characters are driving in a Taxi to get away from the monster that's chasing after them, who isn't thinking of the scene when the T-Rex is running after the Jeep that our main characters are in? Even the idea and look of this Dinosaur like monster in the city, reminds me of the sequence when the T-Rex is let loose in the city in "The Lost World: Jurassic Park" which came out a year before this film was released. Clearly Emmerich was intending to make a "Jurassic Park" knock off, than he wanted to make a "Godzilla" film, and only agreeing to do a Godzilla film, not because he wants to do it out of love for the franchise, but only because he has complete control over everything and knows that this film will sell since the film and monster is called Godzilla, when it clearly has nothing to do with Godzilla! It at least explains why he never wanted Godzilla’s image to be seen for the advertising of this film.

This film is so awful and so disgraceful to the "Godzilla" franchise that it shouldn't even be called "Godzilla"! Ironically, the film ends with a cliffhanger, but the film was so awful that it instead spun off into an animated series than having a second film. Really, they had to make a TV show that continues this insulting Godzilla flick? The studio Toho that created the Godzilla flicks were so displeased with this film that as they made new Godzilla films, they at times took a few heavy hits at this film for how America ruined this iconic Japanese monster. The film is a complete insult to the Godzilla franchise. Will the new American Godzilla film be just as insulting as this film? Well Toho is involved in the project, so chances are it has to be at least better than this flick.

RATING 0/5